Quasi “secret” locations abound in any metropolis, but where else can the famous remain wholly unhassled save for, well, hospitals? The public cafeteria at the Allgemeines Krankenhaus Wien AKH, Vienna’s mammoth general hospital, caters to visitors of the infirmary and to patients who can no longer stomach abysmal hospital food.

As grim as it sounds, would you dare stare at diners in hospital-issued pajamas rolling their infusion-drip trolleys about or at weeping families in their grief? Or approach a bleary-eyed celebrity who may be in treatment for some hush-hush communicable disease?

Nope. So mind your own business: Turn your attention instead to beaming new grandparents clinking flutes of champagne in celebration of a healthy birth.